S. K. Lessly's Book Excerpts

Excerpt

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I leaned back slightly and studied his features in the dimly lit cab. I noticed that his jaw was set and his posture tense. The silence coming from him made me a bit uneasy.

 

I lifted my head from his shoulder and lightly touched the side of his face.

 

 “Hey, you’re mighty quiet. You okay?” I probed.

 

Paul gave me a quick nod but didn’t say anything. I turned his head so I could look into his eyes. They were void of the warmth that typically greeted me and my heart immediately started pounding against my chest. Something was wrong.

I kept my breathing regular and gave him a small smile.

 

“What’s on your mind, handsome?”

 

He rested his head against the back of the seat, his eyes still on me. He asked, in a low deep tone, “Why are you with me?” When my eyes grew wide, he mended quickly, “I know you aren’t with me, with me, but why are you with me?”

 

I looked at him puzzled and confused. I had no clue where this was coming from. Didn’t he know why? Wasn’t it obvious? Clearly it wasn’t and I needed to rectify that but Paul threw me again when he blurted, “I’m white.”

 

I chuckled; I couldn’t help it. “I know you are.”

 

“And you… you’re a hot… sexy as fuck black woman who could get any guy she wanted.”

 

“Well, I don’t know about that—"I began shying away from him but he sat up quickly and placed a hand against my cheek.

 

“I do. Lauren, you’re gorgeous, smart, funny and sexy as fuck. Plus, you’re a true football fan. What more could a guy ask for?”

 

I scoffed and started to reply, but bit down my negative retort and instead replied,

“Okay, I'll take your word for it but, seriously what does that have to do with—”

 

“Is this just sex for you?” And again, I was stunned. Paul continued adding, “That’s fine if that’s all this is to you. I—”

 

I cut him off with a finger to his soft lips. I kept my finger there and captured his eyes with mine for a few beats. I was trying to read him, to find a reason why he questioned us, questioned this. Hell no, I wasn't in this just for sex and at no point did I hint that I was, nor did I mention it. I wasn’t sure what we were, to be honest; our lives were in such disarray. Yet, there was one thing I did know, being with him had nothing to do with how good he made me feel in bed.

 

I positioned my body to face him and made sure I didn’t waiver my eyes from his when I said this next thing.

 

I explained to him. “Paul, you’re my best friend.” He rolled his eyes, groaned, and tried to look away from me. I turned his face back to me. “A friend with benefits of course but…” I paused making sure he was looking at me and paying attention. “I don’t know what we have going or where we're going. But I do know that this just isn’t about sex for me.”

 

“It’s not?”

 

I shook my head and replied softly, “No, it isn’t. I say you are my best friend because it’s true. You know everything there is to know about me. You know just what to do to make me laugh, to make me smile, to pick me up when I’m down. You make me feel sexy and beautiful. You have this way of looking at me and touching me that takes my breath away every time.”

 

“Is that so?” he asked in a low tone.

 

I nodded and smiled at him. “Oh God, yes, all the time,” I replied to him emphasizing every word. I placed my hand on his cheek and said softly, “Paul, I adore you and I can’t think of anyone else I would rather be with than you.”

 

He touched my face with his fingers before he gripped by the back of the head and pulled me in for a kiss. Our lips caressed each other slowly, passionately and for the first time there was something different in the way he kissed me. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was but there was something in the way he held me, touched me, caressed my lips that made my insides turn to mush. My heart rate increased yet its cadence felt different, deeper.

 

After he kissed me senseless, I was dizzy with emotions I had never felt before in my life. Instead of trying to decipher what was going on inside my head and heart, I brought my attention to the road, making sure the cab driver didn’t go out of the way just so he could overcharge me. I’d deal with my messed up head later.

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