S. K. Lessly's Book Excerpts

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Excerpt

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Since I had arrived home, I hadn’t been able to relax. The long drive from the crime scene didn’t help either. I’d been wired, and no matter what I tried to do, the adrenaline from tonight was still raging rampantly through my body. The ghost of Simon’s words, the downright enraged looks, and blow up from my so-called fellow men in arms, Majors Shane and Malcolm Cooper, and my soon-to-be ex-partner, Josh, continued to haunt me. To top everything off, I still couldn’t get the shit that I’d seen out of my head.

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This was the norm for me after a mission. I had the habit of replaying everything in my mind, questioning if I had done everything I was supposed to have done. I analyzed if I had done something differently, would the outcome have been the same. As a result, I had to deal with pent-up aggression and energy that coursed through me without a place to go.

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Some of the people I served with, ex-marine and warriors, had regimens that they did to help them deal with the shit they’d done or seen. It allowed them to hold on to the little sanity they had left. There were those that went to the gun range while some needed booze to help them forget or cope. Others sought solace in talking to someone like a fellow warrior, a priest, or a shrink. Some found more physical ways of dealing with their issues like sparring or working out. There were even a few that I knew who actually did yoga and meditation, which I had to say I didn’t understand.

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 Unfortunately, there were those that took the negative and destructive ways of coping to great heights through drugs, physical abuse on spouses, families, and even self-deprecation. It was sad and it wasn’t right, but it happened.

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For me, getting physical and exerting as much energy as I could helped to calm me down. I’d go to someone’s dojo to find a sparring partner to beat up on or I’d get sweaty in the small gym housed in my two-car garage. And sometimes I went swimming like I was doing tonight. But I must tell you that most of the time there was only one thing I could do that would take the edge off. I could always rely on this particular physical activity to do the trick: fucking someone’s brains out.

Don’t judge me, but there was something about sweaty physical exertion with my lady parts getting worked over by a man with a hard body, who obviously knew what he was doing. That always did it for me. Sex allowed me to put everything I had; every emotion I was feeling and every bit of rage and frustration I had into one goal, which was to get off. And it was accepted.

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Most of the time, sex was just a temporary fix. It was something to do to take my mind off of what I had done. It didn’t completely bury the adrenaline I felt, but it was enough for me to at least function. Sadly, tonight wasn’t turning out to be my night. When I left the crime scene, I had pushed out my feelers, texted a few of my regulars that I’d usually hook up with, and I still hadn’t received a call back. Maybe it was a good thing. I wasn’t in a mood to play nice, and knowing me, if I didn’t get satisfied tonight, I would hurt someone’s feelings. So, swimming it was, which allowed me to replay the night repeatedly in my head.

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Swell…

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I stood in the center of my pool and pushed my long unruly hair from my face. That’s when I found out I wasn’t alone.

How in the hell did he get in here without me knowing? I stared at him, my fingers in mid motion, unable to move a muscle. I went back through my steps upon entering my house. I remembered putting on the two deadbolts before I turned on my alarm and walking through my house to make sure everything was locked before I came out here. My eyes moved to the direction of my backyard gate and saw the lock was still intact. None of my motion sensors around the interior of my gate had gone off and neither had my alarm.

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So, how in the hell?

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My unwanted visitor sat in one of my high-back bar chairs on my patio with his arms folded, watching me. The ominous shadows of my candlelit backyard made it slightly impossible for me to make out the face of my visitor, but I didn’t need to see who he was. The slight tremble that started to overcome my body, the sudden increase of my heart rate, and the overwhelming butterflies in my stomach told me exactly who he was.

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I sighed, truly not wanting to deal with his shit tonight. I’d dealt with enough. My uninvited guest leaned forward, resting his arms on his thighs and studied me. From the distance, I could see that he was still wearing the black T-shirt and dark jeans from earlier.

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Maybe this would be a quick visit.

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I thought about keeping my ass in the pool. I could wait him out. He’d have to get tired at some point and go home. After all, he did have a woman to go home to. However, just as I started to kick around an idea to test his patience, he busted my bubble.

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“I have all night, so don’t worry. Take your time.”

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Smart ass…

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I swam the rest of the distance and then slowly mounted the steps leading out of the pool. I was careful to concentrate on every step I made. Once I was clear from the pool, he threw me the towel I had thrown over a lounge chair close to him. I mumbled a ‘Thank you’ and started to dry off, mainly covering myself as he considered me. We both were quiet for a spell before I broke the silence.

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“I don’t remember giving you a key to my house, Major Cooper. What are you doing here?” I dried my hair, covering my face from view, so I could quietly take in a few deep breaths.

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Damn, the way he’s watching me is very unnerving.

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He had never looked at me this way before. There was nothing in his demeanor or the way he was behaving. It was all in his dark stare. He had a set of amazing blue eyes. In fact, all of the Coopers did. They were a blessing from their mom, whom by the way, was striking in her own right. But as for this Cooper right here; if you looked hard into his intense blue eyes, you could see specks of green in them. The green wasn’t very dominating, but as I got closer to him, using the sparkle from the candle that was lit on the table next to him, damn if I didn’t see the glitter of emerald through his eyes.

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“I came to check up on you,” he informed me. “Due to the way things went down earlier, I wanted to make sure you were okay and possibly up for a drink. Maybe we can go find a quiet place somewhere, have a few, and talk or something.”

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When he was finished, I couldn’t help the scoff that erupted from my lips. I wrapped the large beach towel around my chest just underneath my armpits and placed my hands on my hips.

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“Well, that was very nice of you,” I said to him, my voice drenched with sarcasm. “But I’m going to have to pass. I don’t want to be around a whole bunch of people, especially any males with the last name, Cooper. I don’t have the patience to deal with the public. I’m a bit unstable as it seems.”

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My guest smiled at me. “Good. I’m not in the mood for people either,” he replied before he grabbed a brown paper bag that I had just realized was sitting in front of him. He pulled out a bottle of something I couldn’t identify through the darkness and placed it on the table. “Why don’t you go take a shower, get dressed, and have a drink with me? Oh, and bring some glasses when you come back out too.”

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I shook my head. “As tempting as that sounds, I’m going to have to decline. You know your way out.”

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“Look, you need to decompress, and so do I. We can drink right here. Come on. Go and change and then come back and have a drink with me. It’s Courvoisier. You know how much you like brown liquor. Now hurry up before I drink it all.”

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I stared at him for a moment with my mouth gaped as he opened the bottle, raised it to his mouth, and took a swig.

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“Why are you still here?” he questioned after he took down a second healthy gulp.

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I blinked and found myself mumbling an apology before I headed inside to do exactly what I’d been told. Twenty minutes later, I was back out on my deck dressed in a fitted T-shirt and cotton shorts. My unruly black curls were secured in a messy bun at the crown of my head. While I was in the shower, it seemed that my guest had made himself right at home. He’d rummaged around in my pantry and found some chips and pretzels and had placed two bowls in front of us filled with the snacks.

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He had also grabbed us two glasses already and when I came outside, there was one waiting for me. He’d managed to find my wireless speaker, synced his phone to it, and had music from a Spotify playlist entertaining us. Four Tiki candles had already been lit, keeping the bugs away. Shane had also lit a large candle on the table between us, which sort of added ambiance to my backyard.

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I brought my glass to my lips and took a sip of my drink. Just sitting here with him, listening to instrumental jazz, sipping on very good cognac was kinda nice. My unwanted company hadn’t bored me relentlessly with gibberish, which was an added bonus. For some reason, though, I still couldn’t completely relax.

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My guest kept eyeing me from time to time, giving me fierce unreadable blue eyes that made me feel self-conscious. I was also slightly bothered by the fact that his presence here felt so natural. Most guys couldn’t stand when I was quiet, into myself, and fidgety like this. I half expected him to say something about it or complain about my silence, but he didn’t comment on my quietness or the fact that I couldn’t keep still.

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That, of course, was driving me insane…him not bugging me.  So, I decided to bug him.

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“This is nice and all, but don’t you have some place to be?”

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“Why? Are you expecting company or something?” he asked, looking over at me.

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I shook my head. “No, not at all, it’s just… I don’t want to get you into trouble or anything.”

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He sneered and shook his head, and I saw the edge break through his otherwise calm demeanor. “Don’t you worry about that. You’re not going to get me into any trouble.”

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“Oh, okay, um… if you don’t mind me asking, why is that? I know I would be kind of pissed if my man…” I started, but the look he gave me shut me up quick.

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“I actually do mind you asking, unless you feel like telling me what happened with you and Simon tonight.”

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I frowned and slouched in my chair. “Well, I guess we need to change the subject then, huh?”

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“Yup, I guess so.”

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We sat there silent, drinking and staring out over the landscape of my backyard.

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I brought my glass to my lips before I asked absently, “So what should we talk about? Since your life is off-limits and so is mine…” I looked over at my guest when I didn’t hear his reply and found a huge smile plastered on his face.

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“Did anyone ever tell you the time Josh lost a bet and had to perform Vanilla Ice’s “Ice, Ice, Baby” at our high school talent show?”

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I choked on the liquid that was supposed to have slid smoothly down my esophagus. Instead, it was forced out, and I sprayed my deck. “Are you kidding me?” I gasped loudly, swiping the back of my hand along my lips. “Hell no, I haven’t heard that story. Oh, please share that bit of info right bloody now!”